Unconscious Preparation

When I was a young child I enjoyed playing “mommy”. I would walk around wearing an arm full of bangles, my mom’s high heels, and of course I had to have dangly earrings! I would brush my dolls' hair, bathe them, and even rock them to sleep. At times I would line my dolls on the bed and play orphanage. I would tenderly nurture and provide for my “orphans”. It amazes me that as a little girl I was thinking about adoption. The Lord was beginning to prepare my heart for something beautiful. Those vivid memories are precious to me. I’m so thankful for the unconscious preparation the Lord was doing inside me. Throughout the years to come I would think of adoption from time to time, but soon I daydreamed how my life was supposed to be. I thought I would have four children, and after my children were older I would adopt a child. I dreamed of having a big family! I longed for the precious moments praying with them, tucking them into bed with lots of hugs and kisses, and the sheer delight of motherhood! I wanted to have four children, two years apart, before I was 30. I had it all planned. I would start when I was 24, have another baby at 26, 28, and finally I would be 30 with four precious children. Beautiful picture of a perfect life, right? That is exactly how I thought my life would be – those were my plans and my expectations. Little did I know God had much bigger plans for me. The Lord says in Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts [are] not your thoughts, neither [are] your ways my ways, saith the LORD.”

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