Unconscious Preparation

When I was a young child I enjoyed playing “mommy”. I would walk around wearing an arm full of bangles, my mom’s high heels, and of course I had to have dangly earrings! I would brush my dolls' hair, bathe them, and even rock them to sleep. At times I would line my dolls on the bed and play orphanage. I would tenderly nurture and provide for my “orphans”. It amazes me that as a little girl I was thinking about adoption. The Lord was beginning to prepare my heart for something beautiful. Those vivid memories are precious to me. I’m so thankful for the unconscious preparation the Lord was doing inside me. Throughout the years to come I would think of adoption from time to time, but soon I daydreamed how my life was supposed to be. I thought I would have four children, and after my children were older I would adopt a child. I dreamed of having a big family! I longed for the precious moments praying with them, tucking them into bed with lots of hugs and kisses, and the sheer delight of motherhood! I wanted to have four children, two years apart, before I was 30. I had it all planned. I would start when I was 24, have another baby at 26, 28, and finally I would be 30 with four precious children. Beautiful picture of a perfect life, right? That is exactly how I thought my life would be – those were my plans and my expectations. Little did I know God had much bigger plans for me. The Lord says in Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts [are] not your thoughts, neither [are] your ways my ways, saith the LORD.”

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Open Arms Held High

Hidden behind every face there is a story.  To share my story I must strip away layers of fear, loneliness, and pride to reveal my hurting heart. It’s difficult to stand tall and expose my weaknesses, because it exposes my vulerability. I feel the Lord has guided me to share my path in becoming satisfied in Jesus. He is my all in all.  My prayer is that Christ may be glorified through this thorny road He has given me. My desire as you read my story is that you see beyond the pain and see my beautiful Saviour.

I cannot imagine traveling this road of disappointment without a faithful, Heavenly Father. Before I can share how the Lord is satisfying me today, I would like to share how He alone is sufficient to cover my shortcomings and wrong doings.

Growing up in a Christian home, my parents taught me God’s Word. In the Bible, found in Romans 3:23 it says, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;”  The Lord in His mercy showed me I was a sinner, and needed forgiveness of sins. Jesus Christ has paid for my sins. By His grace I can claim forgiveness. In Ephesians 2:8-9 we find these words, “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”  There is nothing I can do to merit salvation. It’s all what Jesus Christ did for me when He died on the cross. As a five year old girl I repented of my sins, and by faith asked Jesus Christ to save me. Romans 10:9 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.”  When I became a Christian I was adopted into the family of God. In Romans 8:15 it says, “Ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.”  My desire to please my heavenly Father only burns stronger with each passing day.

My prayer for those of you reading this, is that you will see beyond the thorny road that may lie ahead of you. There is a beautiful hope in God’s Son, Jesus Christ!

We welcome you to leave comments! Due to the sensitive nature of this website please do not disclose any identifying information about Kevin or Anna (e.g.  last name, places of residence, and employment or school history). Thank you!